an expanded journey . . .

Since I am also soft, I am naturally more aware of what the broader perspective of self has going on than most people are. Since essence is happily, naturally merging all over the place, this has resulted in me feeling like I am way too much up in other people's business, which is many times not a comfortable place to be.

Some of you have probably been hearing "it's not yours" for a very long time, especially if you're in the Crimson Circle, but I'm a newbie to that idea, having been trained in a Sethian YCYOR hardcore mode to own every single thing – and it has been counterproductive to say the least to go into extreme introspection and self-dissection over stuff that is felt by me as if it were mine, but was not caused by the circuitry, patterns, or focus of attention momentum of this particular human unit.

I have a feeling I'm not the only dispersed essence around here, so if you've done the work to get to know yourself and what's going on in your life and you have seen some results from deliberate creation but still wind up feeling negative sensations or confusion, disorientation, not-value, helplessness, attack, guilt, and those sorts of things without being able to figure out WTF is going on, you may very well be a dispersed essence just feeling it as yours because other people are feeling it.

If nothing else, now you know that this is part of my experience and it explains quite a bit of some of the more confusing things I have experienced and written about. Okay, so it can all be confusing lol.

Evidently most dispersed beans are feeling other people’s stuff mostly from the people in their physical surround, but for me it’s not just the people in my surround; it can be from wherever I direct my focus of attention, and occasionally from someone else honing their attention in on me as well.

The best way I have found to unhook from any of that is to hook myself into my own interesting things to do. Also having a firm hand in refusing to play with those games and battles and power struggles helps a lot. It has been a blessing to me just to recognize that it’s not mine, even if it really felt like mine, and as I get clearer and spend more time doing my own thing, it’s becoming easier to notice when other people’s stuff shows up, easier to not engage that dynamic, not to match that frequency, and to direct my attention back to myself.

I have some snippets about dispersed essences and a link to a full session that I’ll paste below.

The dispersed thing is not an excuse to skip the introspective work and blame someone or something else for one's challenges, but if one has already done the work and has gotten to know self well and is still having challenges, this could be a seriously helpful bit of data.

~*~

These snippets are from Elias, brought through by Mary Ennis (since 1995). eliasweb.org
There is a search function on that site if anybody wants to look for more.

"Essence incorporates energy. It incorporates, usually, an energy field; energy fields being different than only energy, for energy fields are directed energy. You, within physical focus, view energy fields as containment; therefore you would equate an essence as being contained by an energy field. Although it is not contained, it does possess energy fields. Dispersed essences are energy, but do not incorporate energy fields. Therefore, the difference would be likened to a bubble; and the air within the bubble as being one essence, and air with no bubble as being a dispersed essence; both containing the same air, both incorporating the same energy; one incorporating energy fields, one not. Within the manifestation of essences which are dispersed, they incorporate aspects differently within other focuses. They allow themselves the ability to be connecting with aspects outside, so to speak, of their own essence; as in the same manner that essences incorporate their facets. Therefore, they may be directly involved with aspects, as other essences are indirectly involved with aspects…."
Session 64. Elias made clear this was an analogy to help us conceptualize the term.

"Essences, although not confined or encased in any THING, also create a type of boundary of energy to them. This is not a boundary in the sense that you think of, for it is not an enclosement of energy; but within your terms, in your language, it is a type of boundary to the tone or the personality of the essence; its identity. I express this in terms that you may understand. You may understand that this is figuratively speaking, not literally. It is an offering of an explanation that you may visualize, for you already visualize essence as a thing. Therefore, in your visualization of essence as a thing, many essences are creating a personality identity boundary, distinguishing themselves from other essences. Dispersed essences do not create the personality identity boundary. Dispersed essences intertwine themselves with all other essences. In this, within consciousness, an essence shall not be intrusive to another essence and be invading another essence, so to speak. These are quite figurative terms, only for the purpose of explanation."
Session 247

"…let me explain to you that as a dispersed essence, you allow yourself an interaction and an identification with other essences quite easily, and you may allow yourself not merely the identification but the experience of other essences."
Session 479

There is also a dispersed digest (list of snippets) on a different site, Elias Forum.

Audio of a helpful session specifically for questions regarding being dispersed, transcript is still being worked on.

~*~

Oh yes fun also to note that W, my best friend and spousal unit, is also dispersed. It is perfectly natural for both of us to be feeling other people's stuff.

Hooray for being able to drop the shame and fear about maybe feeling those things because we were somehow accidentally stealing other people's energy. We're like the H2 in H2O and other molecules. A part of. Not stealing squat.

Although I have noticed that the influence to engage in battle can be quite strong when feeling somebody who is doing that, on any part of the spectrum of the battle/ power game/ struggle/ drama stuff.

Still working on getting over the self-consciousness about what if somebody else feels from me something I had been feeling that was here because of somebody else feeling it – what a mess :p hahaha

For those who were not in on that joke, Adamus (Crimson Circle) had done a session which included "what a mess" quite often in honesty and in jest, often at the same thing. Same here. It is a mess, and it is hilarious, and can be traumatic, too, all of these things. I find it best to laugh if possible.

Interesting phrase, self-consciousness :)

Also interesting to ponder how much of what I was feeling from particular others wasn't their stuff either, but rather stuff that they had picked up from somebody else the same way, being dispersed, and they could have been sitting there going WTF the whole time, too. I feel there has been a fair measure of that going on.

~*~

Oh and one more cool thing about dispersed essences – turns out it is beneficial for us to output, to share.

There had been a rather loud and steady challenge from the peanut gallery that I must have been some sort of attention whore because I shared quite a bit. It's natural for me – I am not shy when it comes to talking about consciousness and outside the box wonderings and experiences. I've spent too many years training and experiencing these things to feel like they're weird anymore. They are quite natural. My writing and sharing is also quite natural; it simply is what I do, as I've said before, like a bird sings.

I'm not trying to get something out of it, not trying to steal other people's energy or any of that. I am constantly, and sometimes overwhelmingly, experiencing A LOT OF input. I don't need more input!!! :p

Yet I had squelched quite a measure of my natural expression because of the backlash I felt. So it was doubly cool to find the information about sharing and outputting being very beneficial for dispersed essences.

Much appreciation for the folks who pulled that out of the hat. :)

~*~

My answer is the inward path, of course, but/and maybe by way of outward resonances to remind the individual of her own clarity, her own value, her own worthiness, her own goodness, her own right-place right-time-ness, her own blessedness and sacredness.

The alignment with and choice of reflections such as these, chosen across all the range of the buffet, will help call the individual out from the fog, and will help clear the air, and will help ping resonance with one’s inner knowing.

The ability to even see such things is already proof of materialization of preferred, beneficial physical maya reflections. The choice to tune to such things instead of, or maybe at first in addition to, the buffet items of chaos and fog is the choice toward clarity.

Each of those actions then enhances the path of clarity and lessens the fog.

That’s it. Rinse and repeat. Keep rolling with resonance, as often as possible. Read it, listen to it, feel it, fall into it, allow it to embrace, to support, to couch, to buoy.

Feel better. If you are a person that resonates with nature then take a time out to put all of the world nonsense on hold and be in nature. If nature herself is being inconducive, read books of descriptive, immersing, earthy majesty and beauty.

~*~

Somebody posted: "The mind is your instrument. Learn to be its master and not its slave."

I say, the mind is a beautiful thing. It is not bad or wrong or evil or in need of subjugation. We’re outside of the power game – this means with self also. I have great respect for the mind; it is not the enemy. It allows us to interact within this arena and explain radically abstract concepts in words other people can understand. Maybe. ;) Anyway, there can be balance and appreciation and respect, rather than the idea of domination over what must be subjugated. That's just another battle that can never be won. Resistance multiplies exponentially.

~*~

The avatars all said look to the way I be, be like me in that I look for the divine perspective within me, and I tune myself to that. Not follow me, not worship me; those are distortions. Realize spirit is right there within, and tune to that. It feels good. There is no guilt or shame or manipulation or control there -- those ideas come from narrow-minded people, not spirit.

We've done such a good job of mucking up the ideas of divine and spirit, not all of us to be sure, but enough -- usually I prefer to talk about consciousness, new thought, expanding awareness, and just skip the whole subject of the divine. But we are.

~*~

Well I was the one who wanted to be a master in the world instead of sitting in my cave. :p

World has stuff that feels like victim, that’s all. It’s not, really, not inherently, just feels like it, and when we feel like that it’s a signal letting us know beliefs are out of whack. If we can interrupt it there, then freedom.

Part of me wanted to go looking for what the payoff was for engaging all of those games, but/and it is experience, and I don't have to put any other weight on it than that. Choice now in moment, the experience moves through me; I had the trust in the timing, choose that again. My timing.

All the stories about all the stuff are just stories – they matter or not according to me, and that’s what makes them matter. That's why on vacation detachment from the lists of regularly-incorporated stories makes space for _really_ magical-seeming alignment and ease. It is the experience of simply not carrying those ideas along with me.

I do not have to carry them now. Firmness of hand. Surrounded by the maya which says we must, but, and, they do not have weight or mass unless I give it to them. Freedom. Great responsibility. And it already is, there's a version of me that has known this whole time that the games are games and the stories are stories and has not been hooked in by them.

So AND it, choose the ease perspective, the clarity perspective.

...

(reference to 'past') I felt so clear then. Also, I surrounded myself with resonant energy and paid much less attention to non-resonant energy. Ha, a part of me wanted to ask could it be that simple, and before the question got all the way out, the answer was there: that the answer is inside the question. Of course it is that simple. I can try to make it harder, obviously, but/and the tuning fork thing.

Three things in my head all at once: no wonder I wanted to surround myself with deliberate creators, you can’t expect other people to cultivate their alignment in that way when they don’t even realize it and you realize it and you still don’t do it, and it matters not – I get to choose. There have been times when I had amazing clarity and even bliss when I was around other people who were not cultivating their alignment, simply because I had cultivated my own, myself, and was radiating me instead of picking up all of their stuff. And that feels better. I have done it. I have done it quite a bit, actually.

"It’s already all there, you already know."

That was from Shoud 5 last year, experienced by me July 26.

I can’t really blame them, can I, for the fog – I was putting up with their old baggage just fine thank you very much until I turned on myself. 333 miles per hour and I turned the wheel and ran straight into the cliff. It’s a miracle there wasn’t more damage, really.

I’ll go ahead and get dramatic and say the hefty bag I felt my consciousness was sealed into then was a body bag, after a fashion; judge and jury of me decided I was not worthy and put me there and denied all manner of light. It couldn’t really have happened any other way – technically no one else could have done that to me, carrying old baggage or not, being malicious or not – it doesn’t matter; they couldn’t have done it. It had to have been me. Jeez.

And this is where I don’t judge me, compounding it. Rather accept it, because that is my ability, another example of it.

Out in the studio, the slightest hint of why would I do that to myself and I looked up and there's the ram on the box with the words, "Why not?"

That certainly takes the judgment out of it, doesn’t it? If I choose it, and I do choose it, because I say so and I have no desire to do that judgment of self now. Which could be a good enough reason to 'remember' a pattern of fog and pain, from a state of feeling pretty good and being able to see clearly enough to be more understanding.

Freedom. Now.

11-10-15

There is more to be added when time allows, or when the timing is conducive. Also there is more information for me here regarding that particular adventure but I can't access it until I get over myself. Isn't that funny, it's like seeing a sign on a path to the right, brought into focus says there's still some of that you need to integrate and/or release before you walk further here. The path is open. Also I won't understand a damn thing I come across on it if I push now. Not trying to be mysterious, just sharing the stuff going on in my head. There is a much further-reaching dynamic involved.

~*~

People who grew up in the sixties or later don't think the word "shit" is vulgar – it is simple common vernacular. It is used interchangeably with "stuff" and almost every other word. Since at least 1980, the word "fuck" has been used this same way, as an emphatic (or not) replacement for just about any other word in the language. It’s not vulgar. It just IS. The more people push against it and judge it, the more they’re going to see it and the more it’s going to bother them, just like anything else we put resistance on. To me it is truly a no-thing and it surprises me when people make a fuss.

Since both of these words actually represent nature and the natural functions of the body, a strong aversion to them could be religious separation programming against the feminine, nature, the body, and the natural innocence and goodness of sex. Just think where our relationship with the planet and our own bodies and environmental causes would be today if there hadn’t been millennia of programming that this earth is less-than, that we’re here because we were thrown out of someplace better, because we were sinners, and we are sinners automatically and there’s nothing we can do about that, and the best we can hope for is the grace of forgiveness to lift us up from this unholy place. What a crock of shit.

Yet it permeates throughout the culture even though so many people have felt the non-resonance of those teachings and have moved away from them in their active lives. The foundation is still there, and is one of the biggest reasons so many people are now medicated to feel better, either by prescription or otherwise. How can you really ever feel decent if you’ve been programmed from the womb that you’re a sinner? Even if you reject that later, when you finally have a moment alone to think and feel for yourself, the steps after that can be precarious at best. I would wager most people have not truly plucked out that root and replaced it with the truth that they were born worthy and divine, to experience this sensual heaven on earth because they chose it so, wanted to be here, and are blessed because they exist rather than damned.

Ecstasy should be naturally occurring without any manner of plant or chemical intervention.

It is our natural state, when we are not busy being bogged down by ancient tar and albatrosses. And I’m not saying religions don’t say good things also, what I’m saying is the interpretation and the control factor can be and have been poison, and it is evidenced across the planet by good people feeling bad for no apparent reason.

It is also evidenced by entitlement mentality, and attempts to get other people to see things our way. If we are very solidly secure within ourselves it doesn’t matter if other people see things our way and we don’t need anything from anybody else.

Ahem one little dose of feel-good energy this morning and look what happens lol. A Vold rant the likes of which I haven’t seen in, oh, days, maybe even weeks, hahaha.

Prozac, Ambien, liquor, pot, cocaine, methamphetamines, heroine, treatment facilities, most of the medical gestalt, mass media, most of the legal system, and the drug war are multibillion dollar industries all supported by that feeling of a hole in your soul put there by control mongers. Happy Wednesday.

What religion is supposed to be teaching us is the connection with the divine perspective that is ours and is never separate unless we demand it to appear so. Obviously on a large scale it has failed spectacularly, and spirituality for the large part has followed in its heavily toxic footsteps. This human unit is also divine. This consciousness is eternal. From this, human nature springs, naturally blessed, balanced, worthy, expanding, and of immense value. This is you.

Distillation:

The connection with the divine perspective is ours and is never separate unless we demand it to appear so. The human unit is also divine. This consciousness is eternal. From this, human nature springs, naturally blessed, balanced, worthy, expanding, and of immense value. This is you.

The individual human unit is also divine. This consciousness is eternal. From this, human nature springs, naturally blessed, balanced, worthy, expanding, and of immense value.

~*~

If you were waiting for me to create the awesome commune, I have to say aren't you tired of waiting yet because dang it's been a long time and if I were you I would have been well past bored and on to something else a long frikken time ago.

Meanwhile I've gotten more than one permission slip to toss the whole idea and I have to admit that sounds pretty good to me. That idea was specifically for taking care of everyone else. Now I'm supposed to be taking care of me. Huh. Weird. :D

Growing more sensitive to other people's energy and circuitry many of us wonder wtf is going on, and if you've been unplugged for a while and haven't noticed, even the people who sound pretty on can still turn out to be 'agents' :p meaning hard-wired into the old program and defending it strongly, whether they realize it or not.

I had found out the hard way the unexpected level of let's say plugged-in-ness people can be carrying with them even though they seem quite conscious and accelerated, and not that it matters for anybody else but/and my own experience was one of being right in the middle of all of that old circuitry all over again as if it were mine, and it was harrowing. Quite the adventure, not recommended, and (according of my 'history' this moment) it took me a very long time to get out of it far enough to be able to even see wtf happened.

This was an energy blending rather than living with someone in the same house but/and some of us sensitive beans could wind up doing the same thing sharing space -- picking up on other people's circuitry. Maybe even circuitry they're carrying around that they don't even know they've got in the side saddle there. Who knew? Or maybe they can see it there but they don't realize the difference simply because they haven't lived without it.

For me the experience of realizing this was like having my awareness stuffed into an indestructible black hefty triple sack, heat sealed, while still remembering just enough to know that I ought to be able to wake myself up out of it and not being able to do so, meanwhile feeling all of the emotions and confusion that go along with very dark places. It was hell. I tell myself I am better for the journey but holy cow! I was warned. I have no good excuse. Some of my stubborn Aries-Vold leaps have me half way through going WTF did I do that for?!? No surprise really, looking back on it, but I was sure surprised at the time.

So while I can sure appreciate the idea on paper, many like-minded beans sharing space, I agree with the spooks when they suggest strongly that we take the time and space for self now, and not go forward with the commune or intentional community thing.

9-9-15

For sensitive beans who stay out of mass media energy and away from group-think as a regular rule, we can feel the influence of the mass consciousness programming even within those rebel groups who are supposed to have been stepping away from all of that.

It's fascinating, really, but/and if you interact with those groups and sometimes feel yourself feeling foggy or needy or demanding or other uncharacteristic states of being, when with a clear head you know that's not you, guess from whence it comes. It's not yours and chances are there's nothing wrong with you. There are just a lot of 'agents' in the meetings. Now with that said, imagine being able to recognize that and choose clarity anyway. How many clear beans does it take in a small group to shift the energy enough so that the group can also really unplug? Not that it has to, of course. But wouldn't it be fun?

~*~

Then I couldn't even look at it. I've been slowly opening that box more lately though and getting more comfortable with it, with me, stuff I remember now that I had forgotten or put away for years. It's very bizarre. There was still a lot of emotion there though that hadn’t been properly felt because it was overwhelming at the time. Luckily, or synchronistically, I was in a bright enough space earlier to be able to feel and not stay stuck, coming out of it rather quickly. Phew, haha.

Sometimes I think we throw ourselves those things when we’re in a safe space to be able to handle them. If we’re not aware we’re integrating we can feel crazy, what the heck is all of this, and even when we’re aware we’re integrating we can feel crazy. :) If we allow ourselves to come up for air though it can be a quick thing.

I have to keep reminding myself not to try to figure it out, just let it happen. That has been unbelievably challenging for me, and actually could account for a handful of trips into fog all by itself. It’s amazing how the location/idea we zero our focus of attention in on will expand and construct its own story, whether we’re paying attention to what we’re doing or not.

If you’ve read me before you know most of my writing is upbeat, if abstract, because there’s no sense on focusing more attention and energy into the ideas we don’t prefer. The clearer we get, the easier this is to see, and the bigger contrast it is to feel the drop in frequency of the down. It sucks bad, really fast. We can use those as launch pads, but/and the idea is to get off them rather quickly. The trick for me has been (at least according to this particular version of ‘past’) to actually feel it and then launch, instead of starting to feel it and stuffing it away because it’s too much.

I had said in my youth the reason there were wars in this ‘civilized age’ was because a huge number of the population, including and maybe especially the "New Age" people, were scared to death to think a negative thought or have a negative feeling. You know, like anger. It’s a really good idea to not fill your head with things that make you angry. It’s a good idea to recognize that as a choice, and it gets clearer the further one steps away from it.

It’s also a good idea to actually feel it if it’s there, and whack a pillow or scrub something, instead of holding it in and stuffing it away. What happens when a planet has a huge population doing all of this holding and stuffing – energy must express – so there’s a community over there which is happy to play Viking: “Any day is a good day to die in battle” expressing that energy for the mass in condensed, dynamic, Technicolor glory.

Anger is not really negative if recognized and used properly. It is an upsurge of passion which directs us clearly to who we really are, if we use it that way, and then poof it's used up and gone, in seconds. It can also eat us from the inside out if we stew in it or hang on to it.

Also, people like the drama because they don’t allow themselves to feel alive in bliss so they feel alive in drama. It’s alright. Pendulums swing and circles come around.

~*~

We are the fractals that keep going, even if some of the viewpoints can’t see it from there. The specificness of the focus adds its own depth to the experience. This is of immense value, and this brings me back around to where I started because I have a strong preference for being able to see the big picture.

I want to know what’s going on and I want to be able to understand it all in a way that really makes sense to me. It’s an amazing desire /ability /gift I have given myself and it is also one of my biggest challenges because if I point my focus of attention on a question or an idea which requires a tighter focus to explore, I will explore it, and I will also be, or there will be a part of me, extremely unhappy about the narrowness, the fogginess, and feeling like I’m moving through an environment made of cold molasses. And assholes.

That upset is totally understandable. :) This is a phrase guaranteed to help me feel better or really piss me off, depending on where I’m standing at the moment. Today I’m doing allowing for self, and appreciating my different flavors of feelings even if they have been dubbed negative, which kind of ironically softens resistance and makes anything perceived as negative sort of lose its negativity.

If I get really frustrated at not understanding and then I make it okay to feel frustrated, the okay feeling can actually overcome the frustrated feeling. That can open a crack of clarity wherein I can remember it’s my choice, meaning in equals meaning out, and whatever ‘mess’ arises I can choose the idea that it IS perfect for me and allow the clarity of its perfection to be understood by me, then or some time when I’m not looping trying to figure it out.

Bananas and insight can sometimes look a lot alike. :D Now I know I'm not the only one doing this. There are other folks going through these same sorts of things for themselves now, and it only took me [insert past story here, this length of 'time', currently...] 14 years to see that 'out there'.

~*~

Where I had started with all of this was at a sort of timeline overview of chunks of widely varying experiences in my life thus far and the (not abstract this time but intensely personal) idea that every challenge was a scenario engaged for the experience and then on to the next. There doesn’t need to be the idea of ties that bind. I was just looking at them with too small of an eye/I. I knew this before. Well now I know it again.

If I insist on a narrow, foggy, thick viewpoint then I can have that. It’s valid. AND it’s not the only viewpoint. Looking at it from broader perspective wanting to include the idea of certain experiences in this lifetime, it could very genuinely be seen as experience, experience, experience, experience, experience.

I had referenced this before as the idea of a final focus taking the short, intense trips through so many of the other focuses. Five thousand of them? Well let’s say each experience for me encompassed a grouping, the essence ;) of the idea of the experiences of the grouping of similar lifetimes. I could go through and label them but/and the labels could change depending on point of view as well. That’s another way each experience represents more than one lifetime or even more than one grouping. There are many layers. Which layers I access/re-member at any given time could be a whole other grouping.

One could also say that the mini-explorations of this focus resulted in many lifetimes of extended depth of experience in each particular idea or group of ideas. This idea would be as equally true as the one directly above, and also not. Since there is not really linear time, they did not cause me and I do not cause them, but/and we all are and the closeness of the relationship depends on the relevance to the exploration or experience. It feels like that from this me, though, the idea of the final focus being a sort of microcosm of varied experiences of the macrocosm of all the focuses.

Meanwhile I am all of that. And I am this me. And the versions of this me in all of those layers of all of those chunks of experience of this lifetime are still expanding, and the versions of all of those focuses/lifetimes are all still expanding, and from essence perspective I am all of that. And expanding. Depending on how narrow or open my focus is, that's how much I can see /feel /know of all of that.

And that’s still ‘just me’ – that doesn’t even include the idea of other essences and their lifetimes and their versions of those. There are a lot. It’s a big place. And it’s all right here. Yet I can have the experience of a single human unit in a single environment. Or not. That’s a trip.

~*~

Bits and pieces added from Bitstrips (cartoon MorpheMe), 7apps (name meanings),

AND:

Elias confirmation of my families of consciousness, focus of Vold, essence of Sumari, and essence name Simmi

Adamus AND

Mel AND

Bashar This AND That

Seth "Your spirit joined itself with flesh, and in flesh, to experience a world of incredible richness, to help create a dimension of reality of colors and of form. Your spirit was born in flesh to enrich a marvelous area of sense awareness, to feel energy made into corporeal form. You are here to use, enjoy, and express yourself through the body. You are here to aid in the great expansion of consciousness." The Nature of Personal Reality, Session 615, Page 26

Abraham "...you have a good friend named Abraham who is also 'schizophrenic' meaning we have many perspectives that are merging. In other words, we are not one mind; we are not one thinker. We are a cumulative collection, culmination of consciousness, and you are all that, yourselves. Your society does not want you to be that. Your society wants you to be static and singular and compliant, and it is not your nature.”

~*~

If beliefs make things true and people believe in energy vampires then they are true, they do exist, or they can. And they don’t :p but since all things exist then somewhere they do, they just don’t have to in our experience. ...Fascinating mind-loops from a rational Sethian having just gone through a rather irrational experience. Anyway if you have any interest here's a link to a free clip that I thought was very good at addressing the 'wtf and what to do about it' issue.

Energy Vampire Teleclass offered by the Crimson Circle, an audio program from Geoffrey & Linda Hoppe.

7-26-15

So if technically all we ever feel is our own energy, then what?

Another way to look at the idea of energy vampires is we are choosing to engage a subroutine in the program that is much too small, so it feels restrictive. It feels like our energy is being sucked out of us, but technically what is actually happening is we’re just trying to squeeze ourselves into a framework that’s too damn small, and that’s why it feels bad. We can do it if we want to, if we’re interested or curious for some reason, it is a valid exploration, but/and meanwhile the feeling of exhaustion or sorrow or fear or even anger clues us in to what we’re doing just in case we hadn’t been paying attention. “Hey, that’s very narrow for you!” For them it might be very comfortable, for you, not.

So the stories explaining energy vampirism could be describing the experience of it, the validity of the feeling of it, while not being entirely clear about the physics of it. I've been told repeatedly nobody can actually take our energy. It certainly can feel like it. We can absolutely feel like we have a lot less energy than we should. Maybe it’s simply our own choice (conscious or not) to go exploring in a rut that is too tight for who we are.

That feeling can be our own resistance to what we’re seeing and may not have anything to do with the other person at all. It can also be the idea of ‘running on default’ and allowing other people’s patterns to be more dominant than our own – this is still choosing to play in their tiny rooms so to speak. When we take a break and get some air we can see more clearly what’s going on because we’re not trying to stuff ourselves into that tiny, dark space. Sometimes it can take a big break.

So even with the idea that no one can really take anyone else's energy, the methods to deal with energy vampires are not worthless – in fact it’s quite silly to suggest they don’t exist to a person who has surrounded himself with them – the methods are essentially giving people a permission slip to own their own ability and choice. The thing that bothers me about it is if one has a strong definition of being a victim, though, then they could forever be slinging defense here and there and everywhere while the entities getting in under the wire still appear to be feeding, because there’s still that victim definition that says no ability, no choice, others are more powerful, unless that more core idea is addressed.

The twisted part about the victim definition is that it is highly manipulative. It is essentially taking a neutral backdrop and conjuring demons from it, whether human or otherwise. This is not a popular thing to say out loud. I shared this in my Reality Tweakers group in 2004 and people actually left. It's a pretty abstract realization, but if a person can't see it then the response is "They are victims, look how they suffer, we must not sling accusations" – but it’s not an accusation; it’s just physics explaining what is being conjured from a neutral state. The idea of victim and perpetrator is a single idea, a single exploration with two sides which aren’t really different at all, they just look like they are. Stepping out into the fresh air and sunshine we can see the playing field is neutral. There is the idea of a plethora of options to engage.

Some of those options look a whole lot like there is no ability and no choice within, and yeah those are totally frightful, miserable, and many of us wandered into those rooms whether we were paying attention or not and we can wander our asses back out. We don’t even need to find a key; the door is open. Of course some of those rooms look like dark mazes, too, and as I was reminded recently, there’s no harm in asking for help.

(Of course that reminder came after I had already enrolled in a permission slip, a 'help method', to get me out of the room I was exploring at the time. Only after I choose the idea does it then present itself so obviously. It's almost like there was a rule that said no giving away the game. ;) )

One of the fascinating ideas about this vampire dynamic is we could run into a person who is overall exceedingly positive, clear, and fun, and depending on an idea they may be playing with at the time or an idea we may be playing with at the time, we can perceive them to be or do something that appears to be very much vampire-ish. Especially if we’re playing with the idea of noticing energy vampires. :p Any one of the parameters (variables?) we run into can be used to help us explore whatever we’re interested in, whether it be what we would usually consider a healthy or morbid interest.

Imagine how flooded the arena is with potential in order to be able to serve up constant foam to shape in support of whatever we be. We be the idea, the space, the interaction, not ‘just’ the human unit. Considering we change every moment, that’s a lot of potential.

8-29-15

So back to the idea of feeling victim, energy feeding, and the like. Might sound like an odd direction to go after all of that above but/and the experience feels real whether or not you or I believe in waaampires, and if you've had that experience and the audio linked above sounded good but didn't quite get it for you, the Crimson Circle offers an advanced studies class for tackling those ideas and psychic abuse and/or physical and/or sexual abuse. The class is called SES, or Sexual Energies School, and the updated version from summer 2015 with Adamus includes a power pack, only we're not supposed to use the word power since we're stepping out of the power game, so I'll call it an ability pack. :) Choice pack. :) AND pack. :) High-frequency pack. :) Put your experiential responsibility right back in your own hands pack. You know I love that.

And despite, or maybe because of, the idea of basing the class on a concept that sounded really unbelievably weird and foreign and impossible yet seemed to be happening anyway and sure would explain a lot if it were true, it helped shake me out of the triple hefty my awareness had been stuffed into (more on that later, maybe) and two months later I still have clarity unfolding from dark corners of my mind where I had stuffed some ...stuff, yeah you know. Anyway if you're having challenge with having been abused or having challenge with interacting with people doing power plays or 'feeding', check it out, seriously. If I sound like a commercial I'm not making $ here -- to me that program was worth every penny and every minute spent, & I would absolutely do it again.

~*~

..and still had mess LOL yeah truly. Some may argue I was thrown out, but that's a story for a different day. So no matter how caught up I may have been in stories, and no matter how miserable and foggy I may have sometimes been since then, I was indeed unplugged officially circa 1995.

This is not bragging; this is sharing a point of resistance. I haven’t been locked back into the Matrix, although I did try to pretend like I was from time to time, and that has to be okay with me but/and there’s still some resistance there. Here. I'm probably going to have to actually look at what happened eventually. How about we continue the movie analogy and say I hacked in? I hacked in because I had work to do.

So I unplugged from the big matrix but/and I was accessing it through exploring other people’s viewpoints and most of them were still quite plugged in. This is not about them; this is about me. I rolled with the momentum because there was information there about me. There were things to explore there for me.

...

The other thing tickling my brains today is the idea that enlightenment = constant ecstasy. Again there is something nagging me about that feeling of energy not necessarily being a good thing. It could be, I’m open to the idea; it just rings false. The idea that somebody experiencing flow of clarity and contentment in moment in expression and resonating with like-minded people or material or experiences could somehow be 'less than' 'enlightened' because they’re not glowing like an overdone yule tree and buzzing so strongly that they don’t even want to interact with physical reality – that just sounds like another story. Plus buzz does not mean clear; we’ve seen that.

We only feel the difference. Once we’ve acclimated to a certain level of acceleration we don’t feel it anymore. Right? What we feel is ease and nonresistance. Which yeah to most people I guess that would seem like it feels like ecstasy. Most people are up to their ears in resistance.

...

Or are they?

~*~

...

"A man only begins to be a man when he ceases to whine and revile, and commences to search for the hidden justice which regulates his life. And he adapts his mind to that regulating factor, he ceases to accuse others as the cause of his condition, and builds himself up in strong and noble thoughts; ceases to kick against circumstances, but begins to use them as aids to his more rapid progress, and as a means of the hidden powers and possibilities within himself."
― James Allen, As a Man Thinketh, 1903. Same book:

"Cherish your visions.
Cherish your ideals.
Cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts.
For out of them will grow all delightful conditions, all heavenly environment, of these, if you but remain true to them, your world will at last be built."

...

Realized out moking that I just wasn’t forgiving myself, about [... list spans 25 years, I'll spare you ...]; every one of those giant chunks of baggage was simply my not allowing myself my choice and not supporting myself in my choices and then not forgiving myself for my choices. That's what the weight was, and that's what the "wait" was.

Every one of those was the idea of not fulfilling somebody else’s expectations, or my own expectations regarding them, of not bending to their will, or of not taking responsibility for them.

That’s all. I just wasn’t forgiving myself for being my own me. That’s why the blessed feeling of absolution struck me so strongly, and why once out of that vibe for a little while I was right back to carrying that weight, because I wouldn’t drop it, even though I had had the feeling of being absolved for a little bit, I didn’t see that’s what I was doing – even though looking now it is plainly obvious.

Big clarity for me today. Huge. Pattern interrupted. :) There is nothing to forgive – every one of those decisions was mine to make and was brilliant because I say so right now, because I support me right now, and because it wasn’t my job to do those things in the first place.

~*~

7-8-15

Regarding an argument I had in the nineties with a mentor about "the way things are"...

There doesn’t have to be any mystery about it. There doesn’t have to be any cosmic reaching for some gelatinous, foggy, distant blob of wisdom somewhere out there or even separate in here. I wasn’t in some altered state reading tea leaves or crystal balls or even tarot cards in order to access that wisdom. It just made sense to me. It resonated with me. I just knew it.

11-08-15

And then I doubted it, because really this person was supposed to know what was what, and then there was more than one of them saying the same things, so then I asked myself could they be right? I really want to know, could those things really be true?

LOL famous last words? It's all true. Be mindful of where you place your focus of attention. It was true for them but not true for me, until I went there, then it was true for me also. No mystery, just physics.

And so, "That one thing is everything: firmness of hand." This was my waking/refocusing reminder that I can choose to be firm in what I know for myself regardless of what other people are doing, regardless if they are mentors, regardless if it is everyone else that is arguing for their limitations. I don't have to choose that for myself. Also I don't have to change them.

'back' to 7-8-15

The choice is in the now moment, the spacious present, from which all ideas of experience are conjured whether physical or in the mind. The physical ones have just been practiced longer or condensed with more ferocity of energy.

I knew this already, once upon a 'time'.

In Spanish to save is ahorrar. Ahorra means save, ahora means now. In English they say to convince somebody to embrace God is to save them. Embracing the source perspective of self one realizes the spacious present moment from which all springs. The now. Or one could say in embracing the spacious present, one realizes, or can realize, source perspective of self.

In English they say to go against God is to sin. In Spanish sin means without. In order to be able to sin, you must be without yourself, without your true self, denying or disowning your source perspective.

...

and, 'back' to 7-9-15, response to a FB tag pulling me into a post about getting rid of that which does not love you back:

Things that don't know how to love you back only really bother you if you're not loving you. We don't love any person or thing so that we can get love back-- we love because that's who we are, and it feels good to boot. If there's something required back then that's not love, that's bondage. There is a major shift in the surround when one focuses on paying attention to self, accepting self, embracing self, loving self, valuing self, supporting self.

(We're taught not to even look at self and to be other-directed, but if we're not taking care of self then we don't have anything to share anyway.)

The surround is much more likely to comply with that practiced pattern or overall vibrational leaning. There's a lot less running into people who are sour and a lot more running into people who are playful. In that state one can see that if another person is being hateful it has so much more to do with that person than anything we did or did not do, and it doesn't sting or stick like it would if we were taking it personally. We also love self enough to tell them, if they insist on being that way, to not let the door hit them on the ass on the way out of it. We can sit in a room full of haters and love them anyway but that really doesn't sound like my idea of a good time at this point, you? Maybe something for special occasions like the group meditation in Washington D.C. that lowered the crime level, but even then, those transformational human beans were focusing on self awareness, not the other people.

~*~

So, what if the manual for embodying enlightenment on planet earth (which one) for the year 2000 (which one) said there would be expansion and what feels like contraction. It’s not, really, it just feels like it. It’s like being on a spiral and you leap ahead for a moment, take a quantum leap, and when you come back you are actually ahead of where you were before.

Meanwhile the leap ‘ahead’ feels so strongly resonant because it is closer to your real story, your real being. So the whole experience winds up feeling like a contraction because you don’t define the quantum leap as the real you, not lasting, so the same old patterns get pulled back into place which compared to the quantum really are a contraction. But they’re not at all considering where you were before you expanded.

Yeah. I know what I meant. :p

~*~

When I read the incoming comment, then I really did step into feeling radiant because I recognized it wasn't really that far from my current state and sure, why not? This is a challenge of a thinker, a logic-brain mental in-the-head-liver, even a knower, is sometimes we forget to also be a feeler. Nice reminder.

What's the difference between somebody vibrating in the vicinity of clarity in their comfort and somebody vibrating in clarity in elation? One of us remembers we are also a body that can feel, not just an Aries head-ruled think tank. I hadn't felt ecstasy in a very long time* (as the current story of time goes...) but the jump from comfort and clarity to pretty fucking elated I could do, and did. That was awesome! Why don't we do that more? That was rhetorical, I don't want a hundred more emails about what's wrong with the world from people who feel like we need to focus on shit that bothers them. You don't get there from there, and I have no need to go there. We could do the elated thing more, though, we really could.

Like ice cream, cake, and potato chips for a chunky child, that was something that got ignored so well so many years ago that I didn't realize it was missing. It just wasn't there. Elation was not gone all the time of course, but most of the time, and it was nice to see it again and I like it.

One of the discarnate entities I was chatting with through a channel visiting here in Enid ( ! I know, right?) a few years back told me to be more in my body. What does that mean to somebody who didn't realize she wasn't paying any attention to the body? I am a body, how can I be more in my body than I already am? The comment was so surprising it didn't occur to me to ask and therefore I had little data or method to go on and since it kind of didn't even make sense to me in the first place it didn't really become a priority.

*The um hiding from ecstasy was because I was doing battle with a puzzle that contained a bunch of resistance and the more I battled it the more resistance there was of course and so eventually just to be able to breathe I had to put it over there on the shelf in a box and not look at it for a while.

One of the psychic/ sensitive people I met in person years ago flat out told me I was one of those people who put things aside in boxes for a while over there. I knew I did but I didn't know everybody didn't do that, and so when she said that I was like yeah. End of conversation.

Later when I took that box down and opened it and thought about it and realized most people must not do that otherwise there would have been no reason to mention it, it occurred to me I could have asked her wtf, was she seeing rows and shelves of boxes around me or what? And what does one do with all of these things if not set them over there to look at later? There is too much information in an interactive situation to experience all of it fully, isn't there?

Moreover, everything already exists always, so it's not a real stretch to reach over there and pick something up. I suppose the difference could be I didn't pay proper attention to it in the first place, or else it wouldn't have been in a box.

So back to ecstasy, a couple of times I peeked in the box just for a second and got bombarded with noise so slammed the lid shut and there it sat. Long time. More recently I was able to integrate little bits of the chaos but it was a lot of work and it was borderline mayhem while in progress.

Have you ever had that feeling like something terrible is going to happen and you feel it so damn strongly that you know whatever it is will crush you just about any time now and it's really going to suck? Yeah that feeling. And the fun (not) part about it is if one doesn't do something to shift that energy then wham. That sucks. The fun (really) part of it this time was I was able to do something to shift that energy and it didn't even require pulling all of my 'weird' writings down and crawling into a hole this time, yay.

It did require a lot of deep breathing and looking starkly at what was really going on when just looking at it was nearly overwhelming in itself. That's juicy self-stuff, when we can snag it and give it a look instead of running the other way without acknowledging to ourselves that there's even anything to look at. (Nothing behind this curtain, go mind your business, oh look, squirrel!)

~*~

People hear about creating enjoyable circumstances and they’re like so what, we're talking deliberate creating right, so where is the money??? Money, along with meeting demands that I walk through walls, has not been my highest priority. I really rather prided myself on that for a long time because I was doing Real Research about Important Things. Who cared about bits of colored paper? I was after the secrets of the universe.

I do admit, though, money can be a handy tool and it's nice to have some around. Why do we keep it away in the first place if we're supposed to be unlimited beans? The old stories about spiritually or consciously evolved people needing to be separate from material enjoyment is quite tired & has passed its expiration date. We’ve figured out that matter IS spirit, right?

Here is a link to a free Abundance Clinic with the Crimson Circle if you want to explore some of those creative perceptional overlays and move some consciousness and energy. The first part is also a nice intro to that group and the channeling they do if you are not already familiar.

~*~

I will just go ahead and take this opportunity to say with any sort of energy work, if things start to feel a little crazy in the hours or days following, breathe. Remember things are shifting around and be easy on yourself. Do your best to get up on top of that surf board and ride it instead of feeling underneath it, getting bonked on the head. Sit with nature. Not to project any sort of discomfort on anybody but I sure wish somebody had mentioned that to me before I started exploring energy work.

During a big weekend seminar thing I attended a decade or so ago, which I had thought was going to be about expanding love, a woman participant came up to me out of nowhere and told me to give her a call in the night if I needed help. I should have asked her help with what, but I was really quite shocked and thought maybe she had slipped her gears. What could I possibly need help with tonight in this nice hotel? Besides, I am a creator and I don’t believe in creating mess any more. Hahahaha. :D

Some people I’ve talked with over the years who’ve been doing energy work just feel big love. Wonderful. They either already shifted their stuff before, or they’ve got it locked down hard and they’re not shifting anything, or maybe they just remembered they were infinite in the first place, yeah? Maybe they can just allow big love and big awareness without a struggle. Me, I fought with it then and I have on and off for years. I started out thinking something was wrong with me because of that, but I learned eventually that it's a pretty common thing. It's okay, one of the rare ways we're normal.

So I’m not saying participating with the CC workshop will contribute to any sort of havoc but I am pretty convinced through my own experience that when I’m ready to shake things up and move things along, stray beliefs and aspects can pop up wanting attention or assimilation or both, and really they have to. If we’re going to expand our awareness then we can’t keep automatically stuffing things into boxes to trip over without really looking at them. It’s not hidden in the subconscious, it is right in front of us, just ignored so swiftly and deftly and creatively so we can experience those ideas of limitation and separation with a purity of focus. When we’ve decided it’s really time for expanded awareness, things have a way of gaining our attention.

Again a ruckus in the peanut gallery, "What are you talking about, awareness, I’m talking about money!"

See? :D Okay I’m off to address my peanut gallery and I wish you luck with yours. :)

~*~

like I can, seeing truths all over the place and recognizing this one is for more emotional people while this one is for more intellectual people. This one is for people who are enmeshed in a ton of stories but really want out, and the long, winding stories are to lead them gently to themselves. This one is for people who are enmeshed in a ton of stories and don’t want out. They like playing with them. That’s okay, too.

Having been out of the forums and groups for a while, I was recently shocked when reminded how cruel people can be about material that is not on their station, and I had to remind myself they likely just don’t understand the idea of myriad frequencies and that one wasn’t meant for them. Plus they’ve been trained like so many of us that we need to be vigilant about pushing against what we don’t like lest it get a foothold and infiltrate, since we are supposed to be so powerless to choose easily without battle. That’s one of our more prolific stories. It doesn't have to be true.

Plus they forgot to engage manners, but there’s little likelihood of offering anyone else courtesy if one is not engaging courteousness with oneself. And again, it is frequency, and just because it is there available for me to read, does not mean it was meant for me. I was going to say I am losing my tolerance for rudeness, but now it's a matter of preference. I am being more courteous to myself and more mindful of my preferred frequencies, and have been feeling a lot less like engaging people who are not paying attention to their behavior and their energy.

My level of participation with many arenas and groups has been strongly led by impulse, meaning if I don't get an excited impulse to get in there and see what's going on, I'm usually doing something else. Many times when I've stayed out of an arena for a while I find out I skipped a lot of drama. Sometimes familiar places just don't get visited again and I wonder, but I trust myself that my impulses support my best interest. I forget lots of people don't make choices that way.

Oh yeah I wanted to talk about Bashar’s accent and feeling resonance and being drawn to something not sure why and can’t get enough and there’s a frequency there and some of these other words focuses are too mental, people going off the mental end, when it’s about the tone, the sing. Yes words are good, understanding is good, but does that really come from words...

~*~

This is why when we feel bad, things look dark and bleak and foggy and no answers are at the ready. It is the clarity we seek and understanding and the better feeling and the security, and all of those ideas go together.

For those of us who are intellectuals, the nitty gritty of truly understanding what's going on can be a much bigger priority than 'feel good stuff,' but of course the understanding helps us feel better. :p

~*~

Turn the television off for a couple years and then try turning it on a little bit just out of curiosity. If you're already TV free then you know what I'm talking about. Pervasive programming that people vacuum in constantly and so much of it doesn't have to apply at all, yet it fucks with people's heads and hearts without them realizing why they feel bad.

If it works for you, who am I to argue, but if you feel like crap and can't figure out why, try throwing mass media out the window. At the very least, toss anything that calls itself news.

~*~

that you are creating your reality now, that it was probably that same sort of victim patterning and resistance that created that in the first place and if you ever want to cut that out it would be most beneficial to do the inside work instead of blaming the outside.

You’ve got to start loving you and supporting you and allowing yourself to feel better if you want to get out of that loop. Interrupt the negative patterns every chance you get. Feel better and things get clearer, fog starts to blow away, insights fall in, thoughts occur that make sense, feel a little better, get a little clearer, rinse, repeat.

Put yourself on a steady diet of the material that sings to you the strongest and maybe explore a few new ones to see if the tone is more resonant at this time. Remember the present is the point of power.

I'm not buying into this helplessness routine. Okay sometimes I have. :p That's the tar baby thing, it's sticky and then it gets everywhere and it's hard to get out of. Heads up now, it's wearing thin.

~*~

4-18-15

No expectations means no judgment, no disappointment, no resistance. No stickiness.

Not only not having expectations about what's happening and what others are doing but no expectations for self, so any mind-chatter about should have done or should have not done goes out the window. That's putting expectations on the past version of self, who is now a parallel reality in simultaneous time.

No wonder it feels bad when we do that.

~*~

Abraham-Hicks has some great material on the emotional guidance system and reaching our loved ones who've expanded or disengaged. Sounds like you're already hearing him :)

... Yes, the good feeling is the awareness of the connection and communication and when you deny the idea you then feel the yuck feeling, which is the signal that you're trying to squash yourself into a much tighter and much more closed box than you're really in, so to speak. Most of us do it but you don't have to, it's just the widely-accepted belief system about "death" and it being so damn permanent and since everybody does it we feel like we're not human if we're not grieving.

The message you've got it yes, not just everything's okay and don't worry but right here, feeling your love, not gone, never gone. We just have to be on the same wavelength with them to have that awareness and when we feel like crap that's the wrong channel. Indulge in more happy as much as you can; it gets clearer.

4-18-15

Added note for something I was going to say but didn't: we have stuff to do when we disengage. We're not just dust and we're not just hanging out on a cloud. (That cloud and harp thing never made any sense to me, ever.) We have stuff to do. They have stuff to do. They were eternal, expansive souls before even showing up here. Thinking about them as if they are victims is part of the trap.

~*~

No wonder they say, "Be that you." The ideal version of the self is not defensive. There is no frustration nor bitterness nor having to figure out what went wrong or what's not working. :p There is grace and confidence and ease and ability, all so deeply incorporated that it seems odd to mention it.

So many old little issues matter not.

One pursues one's interests and leaves the characters on the wallpaper to talk among themselves.

And so, all of that little mind chatter in resistance of anything is not there.

~*~

When people focus here and still have access to the multidimensional aspects of themselves, maybe the forgetters want to "fix" them because they don't understand and it scares them, or it pisses them off because a part of them knows they do also or could also, but meanwhile there's all this programming saying no they can't and meanwhile they were raised with the "no you can't"...

The rules for our particular cookie-cutter sort of society say everyone will be this particular way and behave this particular way.. if not then something is wrong & must be fixed. Most of these rules are not even noticed by the people within the society; they are simply followed.

Somehow people got the idea every child (and adult) should be engaged with whatever we present to them according to our rules, and if the child becomes disinterested and begins to withdraw (or lose focus, or feel lost, or otherwise misbehave) we (en masse) pump her full of medication and call her broken instead of offering different sorts of environments and other stimuli to see what calls the soul forward into further engagement and expression.

It's a passion thing, a desire thing, life. If that is not there then the story is lame, it might as well be over and there's no longer a need for that point of focus and we withdraw from it, returning to our more expansive selves.

(What if we withdrew completely all the time and it wasn't a big deal? What if we remembered we pop in and out like at a candy store or coffee shop? Then what if we remembered how hard we worked to focus ourselves here just to feel the sensation of the air on our skin? What if everything else was extraneous?)

Nobody told us we have the ability to ferret out new interesting things and that this in itself would help us feel better. Young people do this automatically but in effort to make us grow up and fit in and behave I think it gets squished out of us along with natural curiosity, creativity, and expression. So once squished we can flounder and do not realize it is then up to us to engage that spark and make it grow. People go to the doctor, "what's wrong with me," and the doctor has to run tests and come up with something or say he doesn't know...

~*~

"One bad apple" doesn't necessarily refer to a criminal, it could be a toxic-circuitry person, someone who does not deliberately choose a positive attitude, who lets the negative loops in the brain take over and often lets it run out of the mouth. This one apple can suck a whole group down a spiral to hell and nobody could even recognize what is wrong. This is one of those things so common that most people don't even seem to notice it. Sensitive people are particularly susceptible and oftentimes will not even know there's something wrong until they just don't feel like living any more. If we can, find one spark of light, guard it fiercely, and spend no time with those who would squelch it, as if this were a matter of life and death, because for some of us it could be so.

More and more people are coming in sensitive, and this is a good thing, once word gets 'round this is what's going on, and simple contentment and appreciation in moment is allowed to flourish again. For a while we may have to fight for it. It's worth it.

Meanwhile the body consciousnesses and organ consciousnesses and cell consciousnesses and these lovely atoms we crystallize from waves in front of our faces all have unlimited energy at their disposal and their programming directives lean strongly toward dynamic wellness, otherwise we'd never live long enough to procreate. The interruptions in those programs come from toxins, which we as a race have stupidly surrounded ourselves with and filled our diets with, and can also include belief systems like degeneration, weakness, illness. (Or "don't be you.") The societal and medical gestalts are thick and almost nobody gets out alive. :p

If there is any challenge at all with health and vitality it may be of benefit to recognize refined flour, like the white flour everybody's been eating for years in everything, can create an intense immune system reaction within the body because it is not a naturally-occurring substance. The body treats it like an invader and wears itself out in these battles, and people eat this all the time. There's a long list, pretty much anything processed, but more helpful than finding everything which is wrong (an endless list and it is focusing in the wrong direction) is to simply keep adding more things which are whole and vibrant until there is no room for the other stuff.

Eat fresh, organic foods and I mean work up to four plates of fruits and veggies every day so the body gets the nutrients it has been missing and the mitochondria can feel juicy again. Drink pure water, eight tall glasses a day. Sit with the grasses and trees and plants. Breathe. Get some exercise, move around, get the blood moving. Play some. Work some. This is good medicine.

6-4-15

Sure those are beliefs, and so is gravity. Still aligning with that one? Then those suggestions are good medicine.

~*~

It sounds funny now to say it out loud, but when I began investigating metaphysics I was sure there was a strong connection between what the avatars had been saying for millennia and what quantum physics was telling us, but I hunted and searched for books and articles and anything I could find which connected these dots, and these things did not exist. A few years later I found books about this which said they had been written some twenty years before, but which did not exist the few years earlier in the reality I had been (in) at that time.

I had integrated the ideas and shifted to a reality wherein that was already, if not common knowledge, then at least a path which had been walked before.

It was a weird thing people were afraid of then. Now it’s everywhere. People are talking about Law of Attraction out the wazoo... but I don’t hear so much about people talking about the outstanding and inherent value of individuality.

One of things that boggled, puzzled, bothered me about transcendental paths and metaphysics was so many teaching to get back to the oneness, that we are all one and that individuality was akin to having fallen from grace – that we must kill the ego, deny the self, and all of that. Yes we came from oneness to explore, and while touching on that oneness does give one peace, the reason we are here as individuals is to enjoy the blessed individuality and expression, not to “get back to” oneness. We already are that. We will get ‘back’ to that. There’s really no way we could not, since we already are. It’s not something we have to work to achieve, much less spend lifetimes correcting old karmic errors on our way up to earning a bit of grace.

We are grace.

So why does the world often look like hell in a handbasket? That’s the adventure part, some more fun than others to most people but all of it worth the effort to Creation otherwise it wouldn’t exist.

Does that make sense to you? It sings to me.

So yes there is tremendous suffering, along with ecstatic joy, all experienced by expansive, eternal beings focused strongly into the experience, for the sake of experience, adventure, exploration, and maybe even making something pretty cool.

We’re actually constantly making things that are outstandingly cool. The swarm of particle/waves in the direction of the sky (for example, along with everything else) is a plethora of probabilities and does not even have an appearance until an individual condenses it into a particular state.

The act of perception isn’t viewing what’s already there; it is creating a something from probabilities.

Ever try to walk across a highway and found there were cars everywhere and you just had to wait forever? Ever know that when you arrived there would be a nice, big, open space for an easy stride without rush, and found it to be there when you expected it, time after time?

My purpose for writing about these things is to offer inspiration, maybe even resonance if you’re already entertaining these sorts of ideas. I’d like to say empowerment but I can’t do that for anybody else – I can, from a centered space, offer my knowing of your infinite self. Whether you choose to see, touch, know, remember that version of you is of course your own doing.

When I’m out and about, interacting with the stories of people who believe they are helpless victims of a chaotic external reality, often I am drawn away from my own center and don’t even remember these things for myself, but seasons change eventually and it comes back around. I write these things for me, like a bird sings, it is what I do, but/and also unlike a bird who knows his own grace and majestic placement and perfect intertwining with the surround, if I get to feeling off-kilter, I can come in here and read some of my old reminders and get back to “oh yeah.”

If I’m (in) a particularly dramatic story then forget it; there will be walls perceived everywhere and I’ll be busy banging my head on them. I am, after all, an Aries Ram. :) It can be easy to forget the mountains we’ve crossed when our focus is on the boulder in front of the face. Many people want evidence they really could be powerful before they will dare hope, and that is understandable because those boulders look big, and when faced with them usually all we can remember is boulders, boulders, everywhere.

There are two things that can happen when things appear stormy and insurmountable for me: one, I go inward and melt the maya for a moment and remember, or two, I work my busy little butt off at whatever scraps of anything I can do toward something that feels productive and at least a little artistic while simultaneously throwing inner (or not so inner) temper tantrums until I finally give up and go back to one.

Sometimes, oftentimes, two lasts years. Sometimes, oftentimes, there will be little remembrances in there while the big story remains a frustrating mystery and I continue the head-banging. Sometimes, oftentimes, there is a pearl of wisdom from the journey. Sometimes I haven’t the faintest idea what I went through all of that for – figure I’ll know eventually, or I won’t. If I’m really back to one, it matters not, and the journey continues. If not, I loop.

Meanwhile I send the people who ask to the teachers/ mentors/ playmates who from my perception speak clearly and resonate strongly with me, because often I’m doing that looping thing and don't know which way is up, and I know there are vibrations there with the others beyond the words which will make a difference if the person is willing.

So I’m doing one this morning and I don’t have all the threads picked up, not everything is clear yet from my latest two, but that’s okay because I’m at one. ;) Get it?

~*~

The only real evidence that ever really matters to a person is her or his own experience, but for what it’s worth, experts told me I would have to take horse pill pain killers and have physical therapy for the rest of my life and the body would not get any better. I quit that story circa 1993.

A different time experts told me there was something wrong with my brain and I would have to take anti-depressants and other mind-numbing prescription drugs for the rest of my life and I would never get any better, never be able to concentrate, think properly, or be truly happy again. (There’s nothing you can do, be a good little helpless victim and eat these zombie meds for the rest of your life.) I escaped from that story in 1998. I went on to earn three degrees with an A in every class. Those are a couple of my mountains.

I don’t tell people they can do great things because I’m trying to blow smoke – I tell them because I know, because I’ve done it, and seriously if I can do it anybody can do it. Then, I get busy being frustrated with the newest boulder challenge in front of my face, forget the past mountains, and sometimes find it really much too tempting to want to smack people accusing me of blowing smoke... but I leave these words around because somebody somewhere might like to see some of it and I know I sure appreciate a reminder now and then.

When we come into the physical dimension, along with the rockbed physical stories about concrete reality, victimhood, and separation, many of us are taught not to be ourselves. Then when we look for wisdom, the old metaphysics tells us to be One and not to be ourselves. The individual is actually the coolest thing since way before sliced bread. We stretch far beyond what we think our boundaries are, we have much more ability to change things than we’re taught, and our very own preferences, passions, and perceptions are a very big part of what makes the multiverse awesome.

~*~